+ some tips to feel at home
London or Tokyo?
It's a tough question really, and sometimes this takes you to a difficult stage where you start feeling lost in both places.
So, I've just returned to Tokyo after two weeks of fun after graduation in London! But that is when I started realising this problem.
When I was in London... Oh I wish my family was here, I can't wait to go back home in Tokyo.
When I got to Tokyo... Agh I miss London, I definitely don't fit the vibe here and really can't get used to it.
My BIG question - When / where am I ever going to feel at home?
This may be one of those third culture kid problems or simply a dilemma that everyone moving out of their homes go through.
Either way, I've realised that I can't go searching for home forever, I just need to make an effort to make somewhere my home.
Yes, you heard it right. We as individuals have to make a place feel like home. Once you start moving around places, getting to know new places & people, you can't just stick to one place.
So here are some of the things that I want to keep in mind this summer while I'm in Tokyo
( a city that is technically my "home" but one that I don't vibe with at the moment ):
1. Listen to local bops
Music really grows a strong connecting with each of us, and can sometimes contribute in changing one's mindset. So, I've been trying to listen to more Japanese songs.
My 'Kaze' playlist where I have my favourite J-pop songs:
2. Meet your friends (or make some if you don't have ppl to hang out with!)
Social isolation is one of the reasons I am finding it difficult to get used to Tokyo's environment. Most of my friends here are still in school (with Uni test ahead) or I simply don't have as many close friends here.
So I just need to make some! One way to do it is to try to get to know my friends here better. Spending more time and talking to each other can help - getting to know our values & personalities. There is also another way - to use the apps! I've been considering to download some apps that can connect me with like-minded people, maybe I can even find someone who's been going through a similar problem as me (another third culture gal perhaps). For example, Bumble has a BFF feature (so it's not just a dating app, it's a befriending app;) which is basically a platform that helps you make new friends. I know a couple of friends who've made amazing friends through Bumble so I'm willing to give it a try too.
3. Talk to your family & friends about what your going through
I've opened up to my mum about this, and she actually shared her story from when she moved to Tokyo to work from Aomori, her hometown. Although it may seem like a small deal (cus she stayed in Japan), but at that time she said she felt the same. She wished her parent had lived in Tokyo, in the same area as her. Hearing my mum's story made me realise that this is something that most people go through, and that it's totally okay to feel this way.
In the same way, I am also planning on sharing this with my friends (both in the UK and Japan). Firstly, staying in touch with my friends from far away helps me feel less isolated from them, but also allows me to miss them less. So it is so so so important to stay in touch with your friends that aren't near you, don't forget about them, you'll regret it if you do!
4. Appreciate what you have & live in the moment!
Despite how much I miss my dearest London town, I know that my summer in Tokyo has been long awaited (I was very excited to come back here for summer!). I don't want to regret taking advantage of what I have now, and that's why I should enjoy my time here to the fullest! Sometimes it helps to just live in the moment - think about what fun you can create with what you have, where you are, + who you're with now - this way you will NEVER carry any regrets.
So...
This is just what I observed about how I am feeling now that I'm back in Japan. I thought I'd share this because I have a feeling that this kind of problem isn't just what I've experienced, but one that many of you may go through especially once you're in uni or working - somewhere out in the wider world, away from ur comforting fam.
I hope these tips will help you as much as they should help me:)
Bye bye for now! Will update on my Tokyo diaries soon!
Mwah<3
Comments